Concepts, theories, Ideas...

There were so many interesting topics an discussions this quarter, I feel it is actually one of the first times a course has urged me to think and ponder beyond the given material. The ability to read other's posts and thoughts on particular ideas helped expand that even more, and although I started out feeling somewhat uneasy about an online class, it has turned out to be a great experience. It's actually difficult to pinpoint just one concept that stuck with me, as I feel many did. But the idea of temperaments and studying the affects of them on virtually every aspect of an individual's life was fascinating. I feel like Erikson's stages of psychosocial development helped me to understand children and the development stages throughout life so much more clearly. If I ever have children, it will certainly be something that I think about- especially the trust vs. mistrust and attachment.

Losing It

Alzheimer's and dementia are some of the most mystifying diseases that can happen to a person. The fact that it is typically a slow building of forgetfulness and uncharacteristic behavior helps us to be able to detect it at an early stage, but there is still no cure for the disease at this time. Medications can help, but progression is inevitable. On top of that, there are so many different "flavors" of the disease that treatment approaches can be different for each individual, making it even more difficult for those who are giving care.
I worked in long term care for three years as a CNA, and saw countless examples of the disease, along the entire spectrum. I've been punched by someone who normally loved me, unrecognized by people who knew me yesterday, and witnessed massive hallucinations take place. This disease is torturing to watch take place, for those who it is taking as well as those who are watching from the outside. It isn't always though...there are good days and bad days just like anyone else. The hardest part for a caregiver is the unpredictability of the disease, the hardest part for the ill is the same. I was able to go to an Alzheimer's and Dementia conference by Teepa Snow, an expert on the diseases. It was so helpful to learn of all of the various ways the individual can be affected and how to handle each of these. Many people try to right the wrong...telling the ill that no, they can't go to work, they don't work at the bank anymore...when it's much better to kind of "jump in" to their world, and just tell them the bank is closed today, it's a holiday! Or create a diversion so not to upset them by pointing out their forgettfulness. There will only be more and more cases of this as time goes on, and the more we can learn about caring for these people before there is a real cure, the better off we will all be.

Midlife Maidens

For women who are going through menopause, it is not only a whirl of physical and psychological changes but also a mixture of the cultural expectations and impressions of women in this stage. On the one hand our youth-obsessed media society tells us that women who are going through menopause are –gasp –old! Hot flashes? Mood swings? Hormone Replacement Therapy? These are all seen as unpredictable which is often equated with scary. On the other hand, most of these women are at the height of their careers, are more confident, and have a better grasp on who they are and what they want out of life. The article “Midlife Myths” noted that the “active copers” of menopause are those who are most likely to fair well during this difficult stage. In one of the (many) studies covered, Karen Matthews commented on the fact that 80 percent of women who participated in the study thought they were going to become irritable and moody and in fact only ten percent actually did.

I think our cultural attitude toward menopause is generally not a positive one. Stereotypically we think of menopausal women as aging, beauty waning, sexuality stressful. These stereotypes are of a younger generation. Just look at Meryl Streep! We have these amazingly strong women in our everyday lives who –if we pay attention- show us that this midlife time period is not a crisis at all, but one of reinventing one’s self. Out of all of the women in my life I have talked to about menopause including aunts, friend’s parents, and my own mother, every one of them describes it as a relief! Sure, hot flashes and mood swings suck, but all in all, it is a blessing not to have to worry about menstruation, cramping, and birth control. My mom specifically knows herself now better than ever, is doing things she never thought she could (like the woman learning to swim example), and is enjoying being very successful in her career. The only thing she has described as the absolute worst is being in the middle of a presentation or conversation and feeling as though she wanted to rip all of her clothes off and jump in to an ice bath. No fun! Although HRT seems to be a controversial topic for treatment, this was the route she has taken to combat these uncomfortable moments and is finding very positive results. The risks are different for each individual, and she felt that was best. I support her, and though I can’t say that I’m looking forward to menopause, it doesn’t frighten me anymore. It is all in the way you handle it.

When I Grow Up

This is something I love to say. Loved it since I was a little kid, and love it even more now that I am pushing thirty and still feel like a kid when I think about my future. It's not because I don't have any responsibilities, on the contrary, I live alone, pay bills, take care of business, work, go to school, and generally act responsibly. I think it's more because I still feel like anything is possible, and as long as I'm alive the future could hold anything. I don't think that having a career, owning a house, or making a family means you're all grown up, it means you have some pretty heavy responsibilites. None of these are rites of passage in our culture and are all adult-like decisions or events that have been made, regardless of maturity. I tend to think that adulthood happens when you start taking things - or yourself - a bit too seriously, and that can also happen to take the fun out of just about anything. No, I'm not living in Neverland, and I can't fly. The point I'm trying to make is that literal adulthood to me is a biological point at which you will no longer be growing physically and dependence on oneself isn't a scary concept. It's true that in our culture we have no distinct point at which we become adults, whether that be leaving the house at the age of sixteen, or still being covered by your parent's health plan at the age of twenty-five. The concept of emerging adulthood can play deep in to a person's life and for some may never end. I believe that in American Society, we see adults in the way as I described above- people who have their own homes, work a steady job, fulfill their responsibilites, have relationships, etc. A quick search for "adult" on the web will bring up pornography (immediately), which may say something else about our culture. Most of the time when people hear of someone who hasn't left home yet a common response will be "when are they ever going to grow up?". Since we have no "coming of age", or rites of passage to distinguish our adult selves from our kids selves, I think that it all comes down to the way a person thinks of themselves. Since I feel that in life a person should be constantly learning and trying to improve themselves, there is never any point at which you are "all grown up".You can have all the responsibilities in the world, but that doesn't have to take the fun out of it.