Midlife Maidens

For women who are going through menopause, it is not only a whirl of physical and psychological changes but also a mixture of the cultural expectations and impressions of women in this stage. On the one hand our youth-obsessed media society tells us that women who are going through menopause are –gasp –old! Hot flashes? Mood swings? Hormone Replacement Therapy? These are all seen as unpredictable which is often equated with scary. On the other hand, most of these women are at the height of their careers, are more confident, and have a better grasp on who they are and what they want out of life. The article “Midlife Myths” noted that the “active copers” of menopause are those who are most likely to fair well during this difficult stage. In one of the (many) studies covered, Karen Matthews commented on the fact that 80 percent of women who participated in the study thought they were going to become irritable and moody and in fact only ten percent actually did.

I think our cultural attitude toward menopause is generally not a positive one. Stereotypically we think of menopausal women as aging, beauty waning, sexuality stressful. These stereotypes are of a younger generation. Just look at Meryl Streep! We have these amazingly strong women in our everyday lives who –if we pay attention- show us that this midlife time period is not a crisis at all, but one of reinventing one’s self. Out of all of the women in my life I have talked to about menopause including aunts, friend’s parents, and my own mother, every one of them describes it as a relief! Sure, hot flashes and mood swings suck, but all in all, it is a blessing not to have to worry about menstruation, cramping, and birth control. My mom specifically knows herself now better than ever, is doing things she never thought she could (like the woman learning to swim example), and is enjoying being very successful in her career. The only thing she has described as the absolute worst is being in the middle of a presentation or conversation and feeling as though she wanted to rip all of her clothes off and jump in to an ice bath. No fun! Although HRT seems to be a controversial topic for treatment, this was the route she has taken to combat these uncomfortable moments and is finding very positive results. The risks are different for each individual, and she felt that was best. I support her, and though I can’t say that I’m looking forward to menopause, it doesn’t frighten me anymore. It is all in the way you handle it.