Concepts, theories, Ideas...

There were so many interesting topics an discussions this quarter, I feel it is actually one of the first times a course has urged me to think and ponder beyond the given material. The ability to read other's posts and thoughts on particular ideas helped expand that even more, and although I started out feeling somewhat uneasy about an online class, it has turned out to be a great experience. It's actually difficult to pinpoint just one concept that stuck with me, as I feel many did. But the idea of temperaments and studying the affects of them on virtually every aspect of an individual's life was fascinating. I feel like Erikson's stages of psychosocial development helped me to understand children and the development stages throughout life so much more clearly. If I ever have children, it will certainly be something that I think about- especially the trust vs. mistrust and attachment.

Losing It

Alzheimer's and dementia are some of the most mystifying diseases that can happen to a person. The fact that it is typically a slow building of forgetfulness and uncharacteristic behavior helps us to be able to detect it at an early stage, but there is still no cure for the disease at this time. Medications can help, but progression is inevitable. On top of that, there are so many different "flavors" of the disease that treatment approaches can be different for each individual, making it even more difficult for those who are giving care.
I worked in long term care for three years as a CNA, and saw countless examples of the disease, along the entire spectrum. I've been punched by someone who normally loved me, unrecognized by people who knew me yesterday, and witnessed massive hallucinations take place. This disease is torturing to watch take place, for those who it is taking as well as those who are watching from the outside. It isn't always though...there are good days and bad days just like anyone else. The hardest part for a caregiver is the unpredictability of the disease, the hardest part for the ill is the same. I was able to go to an Alzheimer's and Dementia conference by Teepa Snow, an expert on the diseases. It was so helpful to learn of all of the various ways the individual can be affected and how to handle each of these. Many people try to right the wrong...telling the ill that no, they can't go to work, they don't work at the bank anymore...when it's much better to kind of "jump in" to their world, and just tell them the bank is closed today, it's a holiday! Or create a diversion so not to upset them by pointing out their forgettfulness. There will only be more and more cases of this as time goes on, and the more we can learn about caring for these people before there is a real cure, the better off we will all be.

Midlife Maidens

For women who are going through menopause, it is not only a whirl of physical and psychological changes but also a mixture of the cultural expectations and impressions of women in this stage. On the one hand our youth-obsessed media society tells us that women who are going through menopause are –gasp –old! Hot flashes? Mood swings? Hormone Replacement Therapy? These are all seen as unpredictable which is often equated with scary. On the other hand, most of these women are at the height of their careers, are more confident, and have a better grasp on who they are and what they want out of life. The article “Midlife Myths” noted that the “active copers” of menopause are those who are most likely to fair well during this difficult stage. In one of the (many) studies covered, Karen Matthews commented on the fact that 80 percent of women who participated in the study thought they were going to become irritable and moody and in fact only ten percent actually did.

I think our cultural attitude toward menopause is generally not a positive one. Stereotypically we think of menopausal women as aging, beauty waning, sexuality stressful. These stereotypes are of a younger generation. Just look at Meryl Streep! We have these amazingly strong women in our everyday lives who –if we pay attention- show us that this midlife time period is not a crisis at all, but one of reinventing one’s self. Out of all of the women in my life I have talked to about menopause including aunts, friend’s parents, and my own mother, every one of them describes it as a relief! Sure, hot flashes and mood swings suck, but all in all, it is a blessing not to have to worry about menstruation, cramping, and birth control. My mom specifically knows herself now better than ever, is doing things she never thought she could (like the woman learning to swim example), and is enjoying being very successful in her career. The only thing she has described as the absolute worst is being in the middle of a presentation or conversation and feeling as though she wanted to rip all of her clothes off and jump in to an ice bath. No fun! Although HRT seems to be a controversial topic for treatment, this was the route she has taken to combat these uncomfortable moments and is finding very positive results. The risks are different for each individual, and she felt that was best. I support her, and though I can’t say that I’m looking forward to menopause, it doesn’t frighten me anymore. It is all in the way you handle it.

When I Grow Up

This is something I love to say. Loved it since I was a little kid, and love it even more now that I am pushing thirty and still feel like a kid when I think about my future. It's not because I don't have any responsibilities, on the contrary, I live alone, pay bills, take care of business, work, go to school, and generally act responsibly. I think it's more because I still feel like anything is possible, and as long as I'm alive the future could hold anything. I don't think that having a career, owning a house, or making a family means you're all grown up, it means you have some pretty heavy responsibilites. None of these are rites of passage in our culture and are all adult-like decisions or events that have been made, regardless of maturity. I tend to think that adulthood happens when you start taking things - or yourself - a bit too seriously, and that can also happen to take the fun out of just about anything. No, I'm not living in Neverland, and I can't fly. The point I'm trying to make is that literal adulthood to me is a biological point at which you will no longer be growing physically and dependence on oneself isn't a scary concept. It's true that in our culture we have no distinct point at which we become adults, whether that be leaving the house at the age of sixteen, or still being covered by your parent's health plan at the age of twenty-five. The concept of emerging adulthood can play deep in to a person's life and for some may never end. I believe that in American Society, we see adults in the way as I described above- people who have their own homes, work a steady job, fulfill their responsibilites, have relationships, etc. A quick search for "adult" on the web will bring up pornography (immediately), which may say something else about our culture. Most of the time when people hear of someone who hasn't left home yet a common response will be "when are they ever going to grow up?". Since we have no "coming of age", or rites of passage to distinguish our adult selves from our kids selves, I think that it all comes down to the way a person thinks of themselves. Since I feel that in life a person should be constantly learning and trying to improve themselves, there is never any point at which you are "all grown up".You can have all the responsibilities in the world, but that doesn't have to take the fun out of it.

Risk Takers

 

In the biopsychosocial model of risk-taking behaviors, it is explained that adolescents may participate in more dangerous and risky behavior due to the timing of their biological development and maturation. They are more impressionable while simultaneously striving for independence and validation. There is also a vast amount of cognitive changes that are taking place as well as a re-assessing of personal morals and values. Do you go along with what your parents have taught you or do you rebel against it? If you’re a teenager, the answer is likely the latter. During this stage of development, adolescents are more concerned with what is going on among their friends and the social scenes than anything else. Egocentrism is rampant. They are not only trying to figure themselves out, but trying to prove themselves to their peers at the same time. Egocentrism involves the false sense that everyone is watching (the “imaginary audience”), and distorts the perception of what others may be thinking, in some cases causing severe depression and anxiety. Decision making skills are more stunted due to the prefrontal cortex’s slowed development during adolescence and this can contribute to making poor choices. Interesting that this happens at nearly the same time as something David Elkind called the “invincibility fable”, where the individual has the idea that they are immortal, protected from harm, and invincible. “Some young people seem convinced that, unlike other mortals, they will not be hurt by fast driving, unprotected sex, addictive drugs, or self-starvation.”(Berger, pg392, 7^th ed)

Risk taking behavior is often a result of the influence of the teen’s peer group, or dependent on the individual’s state of growth and development. For example, young girls who are maturing more quickly than their peers often have a negative self-image and are more likely to act according to the way they look instead of their age, placing them at a higher risk for making choices that could potentially put them in danger. In Michael D. Lemonick’s article, “Teens before their Time” he notes that sexual harassment, sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy are only the obvious difficulties in this premature development. There is also an immense amount of social and emotional pressure that weighs too heavy for a child, forcing them to grow up before their time.

Even though there is not a lot we can do to reverse this early maturation in females, we can still treat them as the young girls they are and also educate them as to what is going on with their bodies, and how to combat potential threats that they may experience. Kids and teenagers will always take risks, as we have learned, it is a part of their wiring and developmental stage. We can, however, continue to educate them about safety in sexuality and drugs. D.A.R.E. does not work, because it teaches kids about all the different kinds of drugs they can try, and then tells them not to do it. I do think education against drugs should include the message “don’t do it”, but like teaching abstinence from sex, it’s not likely to be effective. Safety cautions should be included such as the dangers of sharing needles, overdosing, and the potential long term effects. In my opinion, sexuality education cannot begin too young and should be combined with tools on how to love and respect yourself and your body.

Media and Gender Expectations

No one I know is immune to the pressures our media places on us, male, female, or other. It begins at a very young age- the youTube clips on the influences Disney has are great examples of the unrealistic expectations of what a woman or man should look like and act like. After all, Hollywood is essentially a business based on fiction. The clip titled “Sexism, Strength and Dominance: Masculinity in Disney,” does a great job in showcasing  the chiseled abs, huge chests, bulging biceps and aggressive behavior of the men portrayed in the most popular of animated films. They show that a guy doesn’t get respect until he shows his dominance, doesn’t get the girl unless he fights for her, and unwillingness to fight means you’re a sissy. How are boys not supposed to feel like that is what they are supposed to be when those guys always win the fights and get the girl? In this clip, Dr. Justin Lewis makes a point in saying that media influence such as this is not immediate and has a much more subtle effect than we think. We slowly get used to these images and displays of behavior and it becomes a part of the way we see things. It becomes a norm, and we actually start thinking we are supposed to be that way. It’s already happened, and is happening more and more as time goes on. The clip titled “Gender and Disney” also makes a great point in showing all of the women portrayed in Disney films- and let’s face it, it’s not just Disney. These examples of the sexy, curvy, subservient woman are everywhere we look. Disney just happens to be one of the first place children see it. So what can we do? How can we change ideals of masculinity and femininity when they are institutions of our culture? I have no answers to this, and neither did the clip about “Tough Guise”. These ideals are taught from practically birth, whether intentional or not. It causes people pain, problems with self-esteem, depression, or in severe cases, suicide when they know they cannot reach the “perfection” that the media’s expectations have placed on us. It leads to bullying, teasing and violence, all to prove how you’re better than the next guy or girl. It’s important  for us to think about these issues and be aware of them, but what in the world can we do to change them?

Culture of the Hurried

In response to David Elkind's concept of the "hurried child", my initial reaction is complete agreement. Of course children are hurried- the world that we live in is a constant fast-paced whirlwind of stimulation. If we want to get away from it, it takes the intentional action of doing so: shutting off the phone, the tv, the computer. It's not the technology that is making the kids hurried- it's the information they are receiving from all angles of the media that is setting adult thoughts and ideas in to their minds at an age that might not yet be appropriate. It's going to happen at some point, but the access to all of these influences is just making things happen earlier. I see a lot of little kids that are exposed to movies and tv shows that are directed at an adult audience and it makes them think that they are supposed to act like that. Children start mimicking in the first year of life and they don't stop for a long time, if ever. Our goals and ideals in our country are to succeed, look good, be sexy, and go to school and get a a job that will make you as much money as possible, so you can buy as much stuff as possible. That seems like a pretty skeptical look at our country's culture, but it's out there. A child shouldn't have to worry about how much money they are going to have when they grow up. So in this sense, I do think they are being hurried. On the other hand, I don't see anything wrong with a kid (teenager) having a job, or there being chores for them to be able to help out around the house. There is a difference between learning to work hard and toward something and being rewarded and thinking about how successful they are going to be when they move out of their parent's house.

Gender Influences

In Deborah Blum's article "What's the Difference between Boys and Girls?", she addresses the roles biology and culture play in influencing how boys and girls develop in to their respective gender patterns. She writes about the plethora of research regarding the biology of the different sexes, desrcibing the facts that we are hard-wired in to certain behaviors and mannerisms from conception. In our culture here in the United States, we have pretty particular ideas as to what is appropriate for a boy to do and appropriate for a girl, and an entire group of people who spend a lot of energy trying to revoke those ideas. Or is it ideals?

A few years ago, my brother, his wife, and my 3 year old nephew lived downstairs from me. I remember that whenever I had a pretty girlfriend over, he would come upstairs to admire them, acting bashful at first, and then becoming bold, sticking out his hand saying "Nice to meet you!" He ONLY acted this way around pretty girls- everyone else he wouldn't pay much notice to, wouldn't make good eye contact, and would not stick around for long. My dad would laugh and say "Yup, he's hardwired for that!" I don't want to get in to sexuality in this post, but I believe it is something that is innate in each individual, regardless of gender and later life choices.

I thought it was interesting that Blum mentioned the fact that although these behaviors are ingrained in to our biological makeup, it is also experience and environment that can help to shape a person further. A man might be born with more testosterone, but if he is brought up with a lot of one on one time with his mother or other affectionate women, he may make choices to stay at home with the children while his partner works, causing his testosterone levels to be lowered. A woman might be born with very feminine characteristics, but if she chooses to work in a highly competetive environment, she will grow a "thicker skin" and produce higher levels of testosterone.

Blum states: "Nothing in biology labels behaviors as right or wrong, normal or abnormal. Any stereotypes we impose on children--and, by extension, adults--are purely cultural, not biological." I couldn't agree more. But it shouldn't have to be a battle waged against culture to try to and prevent these stereotypes from influencing how our chidren turn out. Certain things are without a doubt biological, and if the boy wants to wear a dress, maybe he just likes how it feels. It doesn't mean he's going to go get a sex change. At least we live in a society where we are able to make the choices for ourselves, woman or man, male or female.

Reflective Temperaments

In many of the studies we have learned of this week, including the text, articles, and video clips, it is discussed how children are born with set genes for personality that can be developed, encouraged, or changed through positive or negative reinforcement. Parenting styles are also attributed to the development of these temperamental behaviors. In Thomas Hayden's article "A Sense of Self," he questions what can be responsible for these temperamental styles. He asks: "And how much of the personality of a child eventually develops has to do not with genetics or biology but with how Mom and Dad respond to each of them, or how they treat eachother?" This got me thinking about how differently children can behave around their own parents as opposed to other people. On the same note, how differently one child can act toward their mother versus their father. I had the opportunity to be a full time nanny over the last year in which I was caring for one female infant. She is a wonderful, bright, intelligent, cheerful little girl. I began looking after her when she was just 5 months old. Her father is a professional baseball player and would be gone for the season, from mid spring to fall. He left for his season two weeks after she was born, and returned two weeks after I had started as her nanny. During that five months, she had developed bonds with her mother, grandparents, uncle, and aunt. I don't know yet at what point is the most crucial for bonds to be made, but it must be in that time period. Her temperament around him-up until the point I left at 17 months of age- was always different. She treated him like an invader, or almost like a pesty little brother. She was more whiny, and irritable. The mother was also quite irritable with her husband, as she had felt abandoned during the early stages of child rearing. This could have been like a cue to her baby as how to act, even at such a young age. Babies, no matter how small, pick up vibes and reflect them. I'm sure it will change as she gets older, but it was truly an eye opening experience for me. So, what I wonder is how much a child's temperament can vary depending on who they are around and whether or not their temperaments will reflect those people's presence, or if that is a temperamental style all of it's own. And how much of the personality a child eventually develops has to do not with genetics or biology but with how Mom and Dad respond to each of them, or how they treat each other?